Brain-dead is what they called him. The damage is irreversible, and though we've known officially since Friday, hearing the news in its finality is another damaging blow. Today we said goodbye to Sawyer. We kissed our baby for the last time. Logan and our families came in and gave him a final kiss as well. We've decided to donate any organs that might possibly help another child from passing and another family from going through this nightmare that we're living. We'll be given updates as to who the recipients are and how they are progressing thanks to our Sawyer. It brings us a bit of joy to imagine his heart living on and beating strongly in another child.
I began writing this blog last Thursday to keep the many friends and family continually updated on Sawyer since many of you know how reliable Matt and I are with returning phone calls. We've been truly humbled at just how many people - friends and family, old friends and acquaintances we haven't talked to for years, complete strangers - have reached out to us. We cannot thank you enough for your continued support. Without your love and encouragement we wouldn't have had the strength to make it this far. As of today, 126,880 people have viewed this blog. That is truly humbling. Sawyer has left his mark on so many lives in such a short time. While we will never truly heal from this hurt, we know that we have so many people rallying behind us, helping us to move forward. Thank you so much, from the bottom of our broken hearts, thank you.
There are no words. We're sending you guys so much love.
ReplyDeleteLove, Ryan Winn-Bettencourt
Kelly and Matt, there are no words, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby. He will forever live through those who will receive his organs and bless you for allowing that to take place. Please just know us mothers out here reading this are crying and heartbroken with you, you are not alone. May Sawyer revel in the presence of Jesus as he is smiling upon you from Heaven. With much love, a fellow Yucaipa resident and Loma Linda nurse.
ReplyDeleteSawyer will change the lives of other families who have been grieving over their children. He will continue to be in so many of our hearts, he will never be forgotten. I have no doubt that as God has been holding you and your family in his arms throughout this accident, Sawyer was also there holding God's hand sending his love to you as well. As hard as it is, this was an accident & not anyone's fault. Sawyer will save another child's life in different ways & that is a gift from a little guy that is more powerful than anything out there. All us parents, aunts/uncles, grandparents, siblings are still behind you to lift you up. As alone as you feel at times through this, you are not. We are crying with you, praying with you, and our hearts break with you. Sawyer is a great guardian angel looking over your family, he will always be there with you, as well as an angel to a family that he will change forever.
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ReplyDeleteMatt, Kellie, and Logan,
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you. I can not imagine the pain, hurt, anger, and sadness that you all must feel. I continually pray for you. I commend you on making the choice to donate his organs. As a wife of someone who desperately needs a kidney transplant I thank you for doing such a selfless thing. I hope that you are being surrounded by love and if you need anything I am here. Always in my thoughts.
We are truly sorry from the bottom of our hearts. .. Sending our love and hugs to you all.. ♡ Dina & Chris Jones (Kims sister & brother in law)
ReplyDeleteI am so very, very sorry. I will continue to pray for you and your families.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Kelly... our heart breaks with yours.Sending all my love.
ReplyDeleteWe're so sorry for the pain you guys are going through. Although there's nothing that can make this easier stay strong and may swayers memories put a smile on your face every time you think of him ...Jose nava & anita sanchez
ReplyDeleteI am so very very sad. Sending my love to all of you.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I heard of Sawyer's terrible accident from someone in my bible study. I have been diligently praying for him every day and, along with so many others, I am extremely saddened to hear this final diagnosis. I wanted to take a moment to extend my sincerest condolences to the three of you, and to your family and friends. I am absolutely heartbroken for you and will continue praying for all of you as you grieve the loss of this beautiful child. There simply are no "right" words at a time like this, only expressions of love and sympathy, which I extend to you in the most heartfelt way. God bless you and everyone who loved little Sawyer. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteWe on the USCoast Guard Moms site have all been praying
ReplyDeletefor your boy and with a very heavy heart I want to send my
prayers into the heavens for your sweet angle.
May your memories and love keep you and give you peace
in the months and years to come.
RIP Dear Sawyer
Sandy Neither
Clearwater, Fl
Kelli,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your family's loss. Your little guy has made a mark on the world. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
So very sorry for your loss. There are no words to make it better, just know that my family will always hold you in our thoughts and prayers
ReplyDeleteThe Taylor family
(Ms Jennifer's oldest sister)
Kellie, I grew up down the street from you. I am so sorry for what you have been through & the horrible pain you are feeling. God knows what it's like to lose an innocent son. I am praying that the Lord will provide you with peace one day. Do not be afraid to cry out to Him. Satan's greatest joy is to rob us of those precious to us, but in the end, He is not the one who will win. I don't know the right words to say but God is here for you. May the memories of your son bless you.
ReplyDelete1 John 4:4 - You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
Chandra Coats
I am so sorry for your loss, my heart breaks for you. I send you my love and my deepest sympathies.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless your family. I cannot imagine the loss. I will be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry for your loss, and will be praying for Gods peace that surpasses all understanding to pour over you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you are going through. My thoughts are with you and your family.
ReplyDeleteOh my, I couldn't even imagine what your family is going through. I am so sorry for your loss and my most positive thoughts and vibes are with your family! <3
ReplyDeleteMy heart and prayers goes to you all. I knew about Sawyer through friends and reading your blog I can tell that the peace of God is and will continue with you. Sawyer's life will be multiply through the lives of those that will benefit from Sawyer's donation. Your family will expand and they will see Jesus through your faith and love. God bless you all!
ReplyDeleteLast year we loss our little girl Gennie to CF.. We had just adopted her just two weeks prior from an orphanage in Bulgaria. She had just spent three weeks in a hospital in Bulgaria and we were told she was okay. Early Friday morning April 26th my daughter took her last breath and died in my arms. In my heart I could not understand why our Lord took her away from us after we worked so hard to bring her home. I learned our Lord gives us the love a child and then he knows in his heart when it is time for them to wear their wings. In our beautiful Heaven I know the Angels and our Lord wraps his arms around our babies till we are able to see them again and this time forever. There were days I felt as if I had been losing faith but faith is why we were blessed with our children. Our Lord he loves us so and he does not want us to feel as if we are being punished. Heaven is not a punishment it is the most beautiful and loving of all homes. In only a wink in your son mind you will be together again...Sending prayers of comfort...
ReplyDeleteMy heart is wrenched for your loss. My prayers have been and will continue to be with you and your family. My only comfort is in the thought that Sawyer is at peace, in the hands of god. Anything you need, please just ask!
ReplyDeleteRick
I can not imagine your loss. You and Your beautiful boy has been on my mind and in my prayers all week. And you will continue to be.
ReplyDeleteFrom Cruzs family again...we are very sorry for your loss. We are all praying for you. I would often see Sawyer with your husband on the kindergarten play ground. I would smile at how he would grab a hold of the bars on the fence to watch Logan go into class. Such a beautiful boy. He is with Jesus now. I know that may not bring you any comfort and I'm sorry for that. But I promise you that we will continue to pray for you daily that you may one day find some peace. Every feeling you may have is valid and no one should tell you it isn't. But I hope that you can carry on your lives again with the peace that Sawyer is waiting to see you again one day in heaven. May God give you comfort and wrap His loving and around you.
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches so much for you and your family. I can only hope that this brings you closer as a family; strengthen you all; bring you hope from the depths of your soul, no matter what comes your way; and help bring you peace.....sooner, rather than later. Sawyer, you beautiful sweet boy....watch over your amazing family and help guide them back to peace and thanksgiving. Don't ever let them give up or give in. Shine on sweet boy. Shine on....
ReplyDeleteNo words can expess how sad I am for you and your family Matt. My prayers are still with you always. Sawyer has definitely left his footprint on the world.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you guys but I have been praying for your beautiful baby boy and for your family. I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart for your loss. Sawyer will always be with you in your heart. I will continue to pray for your family. With deepest sympathy, Angelique
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ReplyDeleteHeaven has gained another precious angel. Although it may be hard now, take comfort in knowing that your generous gift of donating his organs will help save many other lives. God truly must have had special plans for Sawyer in heaven to call him home at such a young age. Do not blame yourselves, This was Gods plan. Bless you and your family for your truly unselfish gift.
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ReplyDeleteTo Sawyers Mom & Dad,
ReplyDeleteI came across your story and have been following it. I've prayed for a miracle. I now pray for peace and comfort of your broken, aching hearts. I also want to commend you for making the choice to give the gift of life to another person/people in this time of tragedy. It takes true strength to make that decision. My child will eventually rely on that choice. On that choice of another parent out there, somewhere, grieving the loss of their loved one, and they make the selfless decision to donate. My child's life will rely on the loss of another's. Please remember that the recipient/s of your son's gift/s, will be forever grateful. They pray for the donor's family, your son will not ever be forgotten. I pray you will see the day and have the strength to meet your son's recipient/s. My heart is aching with yours.
My Name is Danielle Duran, I work at Lake Arrowhead Christian School. I just wanted to let you know that as a staff we have been praying for your family. I am so very sorry to hear the update from today. We will continue to pray for God's comfort and supernatural strength! You are not alone. We are praying for you now!
ReplyDeleteI debate about even sending this comment because I know that there is nothing that myself or anyone else could ever say to make this better for you and your family....but your beautiful little boy will not be forgotten. <3
ReplyDeleteSo deeply saddened. Words to not help, but Sending our prayers to your family that you find strength and comfort.
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry for your unimaginable loss. You don't know me, but my heart is breaking with yours. I hope you & your family are somehow able to find some peace. RIP sweet baby Sawyer
ReplyDeleteXo
Kellie and Matt, We've only met in passing through my cousin Allison. We have a photo of Sawyer playing with our son at her daughter's 1st birthday party. What a beautiful boy. We wanted to let you know, our family has been following your blog this past week and have cried for you and shared your pain. We think it's so amazing what you are doing for others in need. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us...our thoughts and prayers will be with you.
ReplyDeleteRip beautiful sawyer what a gorgeous gift straight from Heaven. Find comfort in the memories and imagine the glorious reunion oh what a time that will be.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for what has to be the worst loss as parents you have to go through. I truly hope u find some comfort in knowing your son lives on in another child, as I said before he was here for a purpose, he is here to save so many other lives. Again I am so sorry for what you have endured.
ReplyDeleteDear Kellie and Matt...I am a stranger to you, but not really. We have a bond, our sons both had a drowning accident. And both did not make it through the difficut process of what they suffered. As I know, no words bring comfort, the very thought of laughing again, or feeling anything but numb...the world has continued on...and yours has stopped. God is there. Even when all hope seems gone. God is there. He can handle the screams, crying, questioning, pain...and the million other things you are and will feel. When you come up for air, and feel like you can breathe again, and if you find yourself wanting to talk with someone who "knows"...again my name is Chandra and you can call anytime! 951-764-8055. I will be praying, because you can't...that's ok...you just lost your son and your strength will be only the prayers that go up...and HE will uphold you.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss as well Chandra. Thank you for reaching out to the Pennino family!!!
DeleteThank you Jill...I appreciate your kind words.
DeleteI don't know you but I am sending you my thoughts and prayers! There are no words that can help take away the pain... I am so sorry for what you are going through... Please know that you are in my prayers through this difficult time!
ReplyDeleteMy heart bleeds for you as I cannot fathom the pain you feel. Sawyers life will live on in the hearts of so many people who have been touched by his story and who will continue to live through him with his heart, his kidney, and etc. You and Sawyer are FOREVER in my heart, thoughts, and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI pray for you and your family
ReplyDeleteYour sweet family is in my prayers, now and always❤️
ReplyDeleteMatt and Kellie, my heart is breaking for both of you hearing about your sweet boy. I have been following your blog, hoping for good news, no parent should ever have to endure the stress, pain, and heartbreak you both are feeling. I know this is not going to change anything but wanted to let you know that my entire family is thinking about all of you. You both are such wonderful people. Love, The Black/Raub family
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss! What a wonderful thing you are doing by donating his organs so that someone else can live! You are wonderful people!
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry for your loss. I will continue to pray for you and your family. You are very Special people to donate your sons organs. Remember to just take one step at a time, one minute at a time and if you feel like screaming Do it! You do not know me but if you need a shoulder to cry on, a ear to listen or arms to hug you message me. Once again my heartfelt condolences.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is breaking for you and your family. I cannot begin to know what you're going through. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteThere are no words. The Larsson family is praying for you for strength and comfort.
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts for you guys and I cry every day when I check for updates on your angel. I am so sorry you all have to go through this pain and will continue to pray for peace and comfort for your family. I'm so sorry
ReplyDeleteMatthew -
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine has a friend that is friends with your family. Awkward sentence. Anyway, I'm tearing up right now looking at that picture of your beautiful boy. Two years ago next Tuesday, my 4 1/2-year-old son died in a drowning accident. He's blond. He's gorgeous. This brings back so much pain. I'm so sorry that you and your family have go to through this. If you ever need someone to talk to, that knows what you've gone through and what you'll be going through moving forward, I invite you to reach out to me. It's on your own time, when/if you're ready. But I want you to know that I'm available.
You can find my info at my blog http://smilingthroughtearz.com/about/
May God bring you and your family peace and comfort.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI came to this blog because of a post on Reddit,so I am sorry to say I have never known you or your sons personally.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to offer you my sincerest sympathies. I have children myself, and my heart breaks for you. I cannot begin to fully understand how you are feeling right now, but we (my family and I) will be praying hard for you in this time of sorrow.
I lost my Dad suddenly back in 2012, and that took a long time to heal. I cannot really say that I am "over it," not really...but life has a way of bringing you joy even when you can't see how it is possible.
I would encourage you to continue to write; it helps you to share what you're thinking/feeling, and that really does help.
If y'all ever need anybody to talk to, whether it is to ask for advice or whether it is just to vent, feel free to message me. My account is tmccaghren@gmail.com. we'll continue to pray for you.
--Tim
I don't know your family but through mutual friends on Facebook, I came across your story and have been following your blog. I want you to know that I've been praying for you.. Just that God will somehow bring good out of this. I know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, and the possibly that other childrens' lives will be saved through the loss of Sawyer, is the start of this all working together for something good. My heart is heavy for you and I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDelete-Cambria
I am a stranger to you, but my heart is just breaking. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I want to thank you for opting for organ donation. My cousin received a heart, and it was the greatest gift. I hope that the love that surrounds you helps you heal. --Laura
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for the loss of your son. Your choice to donate Sawyers organs/tissues shows the love you have for Sawyer. Your willingness to allow Sawyer to live on in others is the greatest gift you could give Sawyer. I pray you will find some peace in knowing that. As a pediatric nurse I have seen many families have to go through the incredible nightmare you have been facing. There are no words to take that pain away. Please know that the gift you are giving to other families through Sawyer will be their miracle and touch so many lives. That will be Sawyer's legacy. We will continue to pray for you to find peace.
ReplyDeleteMatt and Kellie, I wish there was something I could say or do to take away, or even ease the pain of what you are going through during these tragic turn of events. My heart aches for your family, and I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. What I can tell you is that there is a tremendous amount of support, love, and prayers for your family. Sawyer's story has touched so many lives, and will continue to do so by being a donor. Sawyer truly is an angel. I hope and pray that over time you will heal, and that you will live on for your son and keep his memory alive. We are all here for you guys, praying and keeping you in our thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you or your family personally, my daughter in law Jaime Pijuan is a friend of Matthew. But as a mother and grandmother I feel for you and your family. I have been praying for God's grace, mercy and love to embrace your family and carry you through this tough time. May God continue to keep you strong.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is so heavy and broken and total shock. I've cried so much tonight reading all that has happened so quickly. Know that Jesus loves your family and precious Sawyer. I'm praying that you will hold onto your faith. Here is a song from the Afters:
ReplyDelete"Broken Hallelujah"
I can barely stand right now.
Everything is crashing down,
And I wonder where You are.
I try to find the words to pray.
I don't always know what to say,
But You're the one that can hear my heart.
Even though I don't know what your plan is,
I know You're making beauty from these ashes.
I've seen joy and I've seen pain.
On my knees, I call Your name.
Here's my broken hallelujah.
With nothing left to hold onto,
I raise these empty hands to You.
Here's my broken hallelujah.
You know the things that have brought me here.
You know the story of every tear.
‘Cause You've been here from the very start.
Even though I don't know what your plan is,
I know You're making beauty from these ashes.
With nothing left to hold onto,
I raise these empty hands to You.
Here's my broken hallelujah.
When all is taken away, don't let my heart be changed.
Let me always sing Hallelujah
When I feel afraid, don't let my hope be erased
Let me always sing Hallelujah.
I just read and found out about this and my heart hurts for your family.. I cry for the pain that you must be feeling and I know when all this is done you will still be hurting and it will take so much time to heal a little but Ive seen close families go through this and I promise one day the pain wont be as much you will always miss him but he will always be in your heart forever
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for you and your family. I didn't know Sawyer but saw his little face and couldn't be more saddened to hear the news. Words cannot express how sorry I am for your family.
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