Sunday, June 15th @ 9:00pm:
Today was one of the toughest days so far. We have so many people rallying behind Sawyer, but it all seems so hopeless. We're losing faith. We are going to go to church tomorrow morning before we go into spend the day with Sawyer. If God doesn't talk back soon, we're not sure where our faith will be left.
Tomorrow Sawyer will undergo some formal tests that will track the blood flow in his brain, test his lung and spontaneous breathing capacity, and other various functions. He looks so small and precious in his little crib there. He looks perfect, as if he's just sleeping and will wake up at any moment. God what we would give for that. Tonight the nurses will transfer him from a crib to a bed so that we can lie down next to him and just be close. All I want to do is lie next to him, wrap him up in my arms, run my fingers through his perfect hair, and tell him how much I love him. Over and over again. God we love him. Logan has kept us smiling as only he can, but this house still feels so big. So empty. So quiet. So lifeless.
Lord please, please, please, please, don't take my baby. Give him back. You gave him to us, and we're so sorry we failed him. We're so sorry we weren't there for him. But Lord, please, if you just give him back to us, we'll do everything we can to keep our baby safe and happy. He belongs here with us, in our home, not with you. Not yet. Please give him back to us. We're so sorry.
Praying for your miracle.
ReplyDeleteYOU DID NOT FAIL YOUR SWEET LITTLE SAWYER. This was a terrible, unfortunate, heartbreaking ACCIDENT. You must never blame yourselves or each other. Sometimes life is just cruel and makes no sense. You are both amazing people and amazing parents and Sawyer is lucky to have your love. I know he feels it every second of every day.
ReplyDeleteI love you friend and my heart breaks with you
ReplyDeleteWe dont know each other but i have followed your story and prayed continually for your baby. My heart is breaking for your family. This world is not a perfect place, but God has heard your prayers. He is surrounding Sawyer and you. Please do not lose faith. I pray God will give you peace in the midst of this terrible storm. No matter what happens, God loves Sawyer and He loves you. Logan needs you now more than ever. Hold on.
ReplyDeleteWell said Chris...I do not know this family either but my heart is broken too
DeleteI spent the day praying for God to let Sawyer stay. I couldn't take my mind off this ACCIDENT. You could never/would never cause this or let it happen. Do not interrupt your prayers with feelings of guilt. Guilt implies malice and forethought. This is a baby, who despite all you have done, has been in an accident. Pray God lets you try to accept whatever must be. Even in your sorrow, if you were to turn from faith, it will come back and surround you. You have all our prayers, too. Our hearts break at what you are going through. Hug Logan, hug Sawyer. We all send you such a hug.
ReplyDeleteLots of times it is said that there is a loss of words at times like these, but all I have are my words and through our words our prayers become united and louder. I am constantly praying for sawyer to come back to you. For your little guy to be strong and to pull through and for your and Kelly's hearts to hold on to your hope and faith. The darkness of this unknown is absolutely terrifying but know that you do not stand alone. My family as well as many others are standing with you and asking for a miracle.
ReplyDeleteYou did not fail your sweet little baby! You are AMAZING parents and Sawyer is lucky to have you! Just keep your faith & prayers strong for him. I'm praying for your family ALL the prayers I can! Keep praying, keep strong!
ReplyDeleteI am one of Robyn's cousins and I have been praying for your son. Please do not blame yourself you did Not fail your baby, sometimes we are devastated by life and do not understand why and so we turn on ourselves and or God. I wish I could take away your pain, your guilt.... I am so very sorry for what you are going through and will continue to Pray.
ReplyDeleteWe are still praying..there are no words that anyone can say to makle u feel better but know that we have a Great God that can heal and we should not loose our faith
ReplyDeleteI am praying for a miracle. You are in my heart, prayers and thoughts every day.
ReplyDeleteI used to work for Matt at Chili's many moons ago, and through mutual friends came across your story! My heart breaks for you and your family and you have constantly been on my mind since I read your first blog post! My family and I pray that God gives you your miracle and brings your Sweet Sawyer back to you! May God keep you close to him during this trying time! We will continue to pray for your family!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't know you guys and just read about your little guy on Facebook, I will keep you all in my prayers. And ask that God watches over you and your family and allows the doctors to do the best job they can. Have faith, miracles happen everyday!!
ReplyDeleteWe are all just souls traveling in the universe. While our time on earth is so limited, our energy can never be destroyed; the love and memories we share live on in our hearts forever. Sawyer could not have found more perfect, loving, caring parents to spend his time on earth with. Right now, he is just too busy chasing butterflies on the other side of the rainbow to come home just yet.
ReplyDeleteMy son Cruz was in kinder with Logan and we also have a 2 year old so as a mother and someone who knows your son we are praying with and for you all. There's nothing that I could say that would be right or wise or comforting any more than any one else. What I can say is this family won't stop praying for you all. As a Christian I can even understand your frustration. But God is still in control of this. I have lifted you abd even your prayers to Him for that beautiful boy.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePrayers sent for baby sawyer and your family, keeping faith and praying for strength.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to hear that you get the opportunity to lie close to Sawyer, I can imagine your need to be close to him right now. Hold him tight in your arms, breathe in his smell, and feel the warmth of his perfect little body. And he is perfect you know, he's absolutely beautiful. You have done a great job raising your boys this is a terribly unfortunate accident, and I'm so sad you have to feel such anguish. It's hard to find understanding in these things...impossible to see a "plan" try not to let your mind slip away into dark feelings of guilt and failure; you are amazing parents with unconditional love for your children. We love you so much and will continue to pray for your family.
ReplyDeleteOn May 8th one of my son's had a pool party for his baseball team. As my Lil girl age 2 always has a life vest swimsuit on she has went potty and came out without me seeing, I was cleaning up the party at the time and had my back turned. She had went into the pool and took to many steps in and started to go under. It was only by gods work that my younger son age 9 looked over and came to her rescue. During this time there was 9 adults out in the pool and not one had seen what was happening. Please Please please don't blame your self's this could of happened to anyone even under many adults supervision as it did to me. God is within your Lil boy. healing takes time and nothing good comes out of a job that is rushed to be completed. Be patient, be hopeful, and most of all never turn your back on faith even if the out come isn't what you want. You all have been on my heart and I know we don't know of each other but I'm hoping the best out come for you and ur family.. May God be with you all..
ReplyDeleteI don't know you or your little guy, but my heart is breaking for you. In this valley, God is still with you, no matter the outcome. No matter how the accident happened, it was still an accident and you are not to blame yourself. We are not superhuman, we can't see & know everything, we are simply human. I am praying for Sawyer & your family, on and off throughout each day. I am still believing for miracles. Love & hugs to you guys.
ReplyDeleteI am at a loss for words Matt, Kelly, and Logan. My heart aches for you all and I am continuing to pray. I am praying for a miracle for Sawyer and have not lost hope. I am praying for strength, peace, understanding, faith, and that somehow you can feel God's love for you all and Sawyer. You are both loving protective parents and I pray that guilt is not one of the emotions you are feeling. I pray that more than ever God has is arms around Sawyer and giving him the strength to fight and stay with us. God Bless You Guys.
ReplyDelete