Monday, June 16th @ 2:45pm:
One week after the accident. I can't believe it's only been a week. We've seen, heard, experienced, and felt more this last week than ever before. The doctors just injected Sawyer with some nuclear medicine that would track the blood flow to and through his brain. There is no blood flow whatsoever. Doctors did several ocular tests that assess reflexes. No responses whatsoever. Sawyer is gone and only medicine and a ventilator keep our baby looking like himself. Looking so perfect, so peaceful. We asked for one final miracle and were not answered. All hope, all prayer is gone. Our baby is gone. We love you Sawyer, so much. We are so sorry we weren't there for you when you needed us most. We will never forgive ourselves. We love you, we love you, we love you.
Why did you give him to us, just to take him away???
Jennifer's sister here again, as a new mother and nurse my heart aches for you. My prayers are with the two of you for strength through this all. Although I do not work with children (I'm an adult oncology nurse) I see the pain and guilt from families all the time, and please please know that this is not your fault. Although that is easier said than done, I pray that one day you will see that. Much love and prayers with you always still.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry. That is a feeling I wish no parent ever had to feel. I wish there was something that could be done to help you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI'm so so sorry for the intense pain and heartache you must be feeling. My heart is breaking for you guys. We don't know why bad things happen to good people. There's no answers as to why Sawyer was supposed to be here on earth for such a short time. All I do know, is that I won't stop praying for you. I won't stop praying for some light to shine through the cracks that have been forever placed into your hearts.
ReplyDeleteMy heart and prayers go out to you and your family. My heart is broken for you. Please let us know if there is anything you need. Linda. (Sierra's grandma)
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine your pain and I know there are no words to lessen it so I will do the only thing I can do and that is pray :( So very very sorry for this accident. I know it all seems so senseless but I remember a story where a little 4 year old girl died and it seemed so senseless. Through the pain, the prayers and the parents faith many people gave their hearts to Jesus. This story has touched so many lives and so has Sawyer, you just don't know what the affect will be on others. HUGS!!!
ReplyDeleteI've been introduced to Sawyer's story through the teachers at Gladstone. Mrs. Jones was my nephews teacher this past year. I'm absolutely heartbroken for you. Your last question was "Why did you give him to us, just to take him away???" I know this may come across as callous, and I in no means mean it to be that way. I am sitting here crying with you, having lost a child in the past, I understand your pain. I'm just going to share with you what its taken me a while to understand (and hopefully, one day you will as well). God has a plan, and they don't always make sense to us, and many times they are hard to accept. I'm going to keep praying for your family. For strength, because this WILL BE THE hardest thing you will ever go through. To be there for each other, and to be there for Little Logan. For understanding of God's plan. You're not going to like him for a while. But eventually, he will reveal that plan. And I pray that you will make it so Sawyer's life was not in vain and find a way to channel that energy by bringing awareness of Sawyer's story, and using it to save other children's lives. My heart is with you, and I will continue to pray, and continue to put your family on our church's prayer cards for healing.
ReplyDeleteDenise, you are very wise and very kind for sharing this with them.
DeleteI've been praying for words to give this young couple. I finally posted a short note of encouragement, then saw yours. It's amazing how God works. Someone has always been where we are waling in life and can understand what we are going through. You are that person for this sweet couple. You've experienced their pain and now God is using you to give them encouragement. Now I'm encouraged for them as well. God bless you Denise for sharing your story, not just for this family but for others as well. :)
DeleteVery well said! I pray the same prayer for this family as the go through the most difficult time of their life. So sad for your family and I pray that God shows himself to you and your family in an unimaginable way!
DeleteOh Kellie...words cannot express the sorrow and sympathy that I have for you, your husband and Logan. I am so, so sorry to hear the news. No words can heal your pain or take away,your tears. Just,know that God will take care of your precious Angel until you see him again. Xoxo deepest condolences.
ReplyDeleteTo the whole Pennino family...I love all of you. No one should have to say goodbye to a child. May you find strength in each other and find light through the eyes of Logan.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry for this tragic accident and what has happened to your son! We have been and will continue praying for your entire family. I wish there were words to take the pain away and to make this easier but I know there is nothing to be said. I am truly sorry for all that you have gone through.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. So incredibly sorry.
ReplyDeleteNo parent should ever have to see their child go before them and especially at such a tender age. I cannot even begin to fathom what you and Kellie are going through. I wish there was some magical way for me to soften the pain and the sorrow. My heart hurts for you all. I am so very, very sorry.
ReplyDeleteMatt.... jose and I are so sorry for what's happening. We know there are know words or sorrys that will make you and your wife feel any better about what's happend. We are truly sorry you have to go through this. Jose nava & Anita sanchez
ReplyDeleteKellie and Matt my deepest sorrows are going out to you. I am so sorry and am at a loss of words. This makes no sense.
ReplyDeleteRight now GOD is not walking with you he is carrying you both. Please hold on to God, he will walk the path that is ahead with you, ALWAYS!
I can't even imagine how you must be feeling, but I know the only way to feel this lost is to have loved so deeply in the first place. You have been surrounded by support and I continue to pray that you find strength; in each other and in us. You are my family and I will always be there for you.
ReplyDeleteThe prayer request for your little Sawyer came to me earlier today. Since then, I've prayed and added him to my email prayer chain as well as posting on my FB wall.I do not know you, but I have a friend who's son does know you. In any event, I want to encourage you in your faith in God right now. I've read your posts and my heart aches for you both. Believe me, I know from experience, that life does not always turn out the way we want it to, or in this case the way we pray and pray that it will. The loss of a child is unimaginable to me. I've raised my 2 and have 6 grown grandchildren and still, the thought of losing any one of them, is just unthinkable. On the other hand, my faith in God sustains me and yours will sustain you, through every life battle you go through. It's ok to be mad and it's ok to ask God why. Just know that many across the nation are continuing to pray. God bless your family and I hope you feel the many hugs being sent from our hearts.
ReplyDeleteI am so so so very sorry that his tragic accident has happened to your family. When my daughter passed away, I was told to be gentle on myself. I ask you do that as well, be gentle on yourselves. Again, I am so sorry you are feeling this horrible pain, and I hope that you are surrounded by unconditional love during this journey.
ReplyDeleteMatt & Kellie. Marie and I know how you feel. We know what you're going through. We've been there. But, where there are no answers, where there is a void. God's love will fill it. Just hang on to Him and He will carry you through. He will. Believe us. He will. Somehow some way God has a way of making beauty from ashes. Hold on to Him. We love you.
ReplyDeletereading all these beautiful posts, tears flowing from my eyes I can only say God bless you and keep you and give you peace where there seems like there never will be again but He does have a plan and that plan will be revealed his story his life will be encouragement to others as well as yourself. God bless you love in Christ
ReplyDeleteI am heartbroken and so sorry for what you are facing and going through. There are no words... I pray that God wraps you in the shelter of His wings and comforts you. I pray that ministering angels surround you and that you would sense their presence. I pray that God would send people to hold your arms up when you can't hold them up any longer. I pray that God gives you peace. Myra
ReplyDeleteThere are simply no words that can express the heartache I have for your family. This was a terrible accident. I pray that the Lord gives you a profound peace and healing of your heart as I know it is broken. Our family recently lost a baby but the hearts and lives that were changed In her short time with us was many. She made more of an impact in her short life here on earth than some do their whole lives. Keep your faith in Jesus. Stay in his word. It will do a profound work in you even in this moment when it seems impossible. Continue to pray. He hears every one. I will pray for your family. Spend every moment with Sawyer. Kiss him..hug him..sing to him...and when the time comes, if it comes,know that he will be in heaven waiting for you. God, in his word, promises that.
ReplyDeleteMy friend lost her daughter a few years back and posted this article. I found it helpful and hopefully it's helpful to others on what not to say to grieving parents.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-emily-c-heath/dealing-with-grief-five-t_b_2303910.html
I am so sorry for the unbearable pain and anguish you are experiencing right now. And I'm sorry that there is no true easy answer that can explain why this would happen. You may question your faith, the love of Jesus and go right ahead and hurl any rage and even hate you have to Him. This is not a time to look for answers Because there are none. It's a time to surround yourself with supporting friends because you can't do this alone.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you that God's love will be with you.
Contact me through my blog or Yucaipa Christian Church if you want to talk.
Dear Matt, Kellie, Logan and all your family, my deepest sympathy for the loss of your little Sawyer. Rest in peace little man.
ReplyDeleteDear Matt and family:
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. I have been praying for you often. I am continuing to pray that the lord provide you with comfort during this difficult time. I have been inspired by your strength , courage and bravery as you have kept us all informed on this blog. You have so many people grieving with you and praying for you. The entire Chilis team is here for you. May the Lord bless you and comfort you.
I'm so deeply sorry for your loss and can not imagine what you are experiencing. As a parent I can only imagine the heart beat your experiencing right now. I'm so sorry for you and your family. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteThe Mcclelland's
I am a nurse at Loma Linda just one floor below where your sweet boy is. I have been praying and praying and was so sad to see the latest post. Im so sorry to you and your family and will continue to pray! God bless you!
ReplyDeleteAmanda